i'm going on a trip, and this i hope shall be a fun one, we are getting a digital camera, so i will have MASSIVE amounts of pictures, and i will miss everyone dearly. i hope to get my cell phone back, so call me maybe? if anything i'll call you guys, maaaaaad late haha, it's 3 hours behind i think. anyway, see you soon, stay well.

i can't help but think that someday, somewhere i'm going look back and regret everything i've ever done. it feels like sometimes, it's all worthless. then i meet someone, and by simply being themselves and by simply saying whatever they feel i remember that it is all worth it. i lost something so important to me, or at least i think it was, and even then i'm not sure if it should've been that important to me, and i can't seem to get myself away from what it is i seem to do best, nothing. i drink so many drinks, smoke so many cigarettes, do so many drugs, and they never seem to help me, but they do for just a short while. i have no addictions per say, except for cigarettes, but i'm thinking one of them is failure, and that scares me more than anyone would ever know. so much so that i just keep on doing whatever it is i'm doing because i'm so god damn scared i'm going to fail at anything else i try.

someone tell me what to do.
i feel so old.